A-Ray of Sunshine

Have you ever met someone who did something so brave, that in that small moment of bravery they become your hero? I have and her name is Araya-Sunshine and she is my 12 year old daughter. She doesn’t know it (yet) but she’s my hero! She’s had to face so much and overcome so many obstacles, in such a short lifetime and still has the courage to smile in the face of adversity and hold back tears in the midst of pain. I know this may sound like I’m raising a solider but, in a way she is. She’s just that and let me tell you readers the more you read the more you’ll understand why she’s my inspiration for this week’s blog.

Last week, Araya and I found ourselves smack dab in the middle of an emergency room. She had a bug bite that had become infected and it had turned into a very large abscess (that she chose to hide from me). After a few hours of waiting around, we were finally called in. Dr. John and Nurse Nancy asked a million of questions and shook their heads all while keeping their eyes on her abscess (as if it were going to jump off the table). Dr. John informed Araya that the abscess was so infected they may have to cut into and remove all the yucky infested stuff. Immediately, Araya was not interested and suggested a plan b. Astonished by her will to negotiate, her doctor informed her of a plan B; they could numb the infected area and then push and squeeze all (or as much) of the “yucky stuff” out. Araya immediately agreed. Dr. John looked at Nurse Nancy and they appeared to be completely impressed with her bravery. He informed Nurse Nancy to prepare for plan B, he wanted to begin soon.

While she lay in bed, I asked her if she was certain that she wanted to go through with it. I wanted to be sure that as her mother I advocate for her best interest (even if it means that her hurt was mine as well). She told me, “Mommy I just need you to hold my hand.” Simple enough, right? How I wished it was I, lying on that bed, in that hospital gown ready to endure what she was about to. Instead I said, “Ok Ray. I can do that.”

And so it begun… Dr. John and Nurse Nancy walked into the room. Although they believed they were prepping for plan b, they were actually preparing for Araya’s plan A. She laid there, brave, unbothered and heroic in her own way. Secretly, afraid and nervous. She extends her arm out desperately searching for my hand and I immediately reach for hers in return. For ten excruciating minutes, while they squeeze out the infection; Araya combats that pain by, squeezing my hand in return. When my “Mommy eyes” can’t take anymore of the pained look on her face. I spoke out and I said, “She’s hurting. Her face is grimacing.” Immediately she gives me this look that set me on fire and retaliates with, “Mommy! I’m fine. Please keep going.”

Impressed by her will Dr. John said, “Araya you are so brave. I would be crying if this was me. ” Nurse Nancy agrees and they continue. When they finished, Dr. John and Nurse Nancy showers Araya with praises and sends in other nurses and doctors to showcase “She-who-did-not-cry.” All of the doctors and nurses “Ooohh and awwwed” All morally satisfied with her bravery.

After a few moments of rest she was ready to go and that day my perspective changed about my first born. I was astonished, not just by her will to not cry but, her will of determination. She was willing to take the road less travelled because for her it meant a shorter recovery time and she didn’t want them to leave scars on her body. But, for me the analyst, it had a bigger impact on me.

We take shortcuts all the time. But don’t realize that our shortcuts bring us back or even delay our growth. Araya knew that surgery meant, more doctors, more appointments, more picking, poking and prodding and days of endless pain. Instead she decided to cry now rather than later. The problem is we hold on to things we should let go of and instead of dealing with the consequences we wait and deal with all the extra stuff that comes along with it. We hold off on being recovered because in our minds the “easy way” hurts less but we forget that the recovery time takes longer.

What is your abscess? What’s infecting you? What are you doing to remove the infection from your life? Why not cry now rather than later?

I implore you to find and stick with your plan A, and prep for your plan B. There are more ways to your recovery and even if it hurts , it’s worth the pain because, it’s a pain you will know you don’t want to feel again. Be like Araya and find the other options because, it’s just worth it.